Istikharah.

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim

Today, i was in dilemma..again.
To stay or to leave.
It came like two months ago, and it never left. i mean the dilemma.

So i thought, and everytime i stopped thinking, i would think again, and again. A decision is so important, it would manipulate a future. My future. Their future. And so after considering all circumstances, all conditions, i decided.

And so using the reasons as assurance, i texted him. This is called isti'zan.
And the reply;
"In your night prayers? Have you asked Allah?. If so, then do proceed".

thud. my heart fell. literally..
The reply was simple, but it hurt that much.
I thought i had considered everything.
I thought I've thought of all thoughts. no. forget about thoughts.
I decided like i knew everything. Like the future was mine to see. I was so sure that all circumstances had been considered.

But did i ever consider the condition called future? Was the situation called reality in my reasonings? no way. those are over your limits dude..

Thats it!! Limits!! Since when were we ever over our limits!!
no. forget being over.
Since when were WE limitless!??
never.

And that's when it triggered. a comprehension for this ignorance. for this pride. for this post. and for this repentance.

our sight, our smell, our hearing, our touch, our feeling, our thoughts. us. is all limited.

So to say that something as limited as us can consider ALL..is stupid. barely stupid.

Think about a boat, floating beyond the sea. Heading your way. You can't see it (derr..the earth is round,don't be so colombus), so how the heck do you know its gonna show up?
~Err..hello..that's why we have R-A-D-A-R signals..stoneman.
So using that signal. You are sure that its gonna show up?
~Signals so.
And if suddenly it sinks. without a reason. without a forecast. suddenly. Would you know?
~Of course no. that is an unpredicted incident. UNPREDICTED. no man could know
No man could know..

That's the thing. We have been too reliable on our abilities. Mens abilities, that we have forgotten the true power.

We step into the car, and turn on our GPS's.
We take medication, and follow the prescriptions.
We forecast rain, and bring our umbrellas.
We close our eyes, and think of tomorrow.

Yet again my dear friend.
Have we ever thought that actually, really, nothing is in the power of ours to plan, nothing is in the power of ours to foresee, to predict, to expect, to assure.
That all this power, all this control, can only be yielded by one power.
One that has no weakness..
that never started..
that never ended..
that ever sustains..
that never dies..

So there. we never had any reason as assurance. ever.
So now. never plan?
No.
Plan, but never assure.
Plan, and ask for assurance.
Every second.
And that's where istikharah comes

Because He plans all, sees all, knows all, hears all..
ALMIGHTY IS ALLAH . ASSURANCE IS ALLAH

p/s: if you thought i'd mention about mariage..then sorry mate, you're on the wrong page..istikharah isn't just about marriage!!

Ya Allah.For what i plan, i hope. For what i heed, i ask.
For You are the Almighty

Incapable

This's gonna be brief, coz though everything's settled, i' ve actually assigned some house tasks for myself to be done, so im not gonna waste time thinking for what to write.

But there is this thing that i really want to share, it was picked up from a conversation with my mom.
She said;
Remember, Allah says in the Quran:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity"

 

Now for what reasons this ayah was lined out to me is not to be shared, but what this ayah is about will be.
So as i started pondering on this verse, i came across some things people questioned. Things like;
Whatever the difficulties come on me, i have to bear it?
Because it was fated onto me?
Because though it is such a burden, it is within my capacity?
Can't run away from fate?

Now i know, everyone would have passed through a time when hale and storms brewed in their hearts, it is undeniable. Even if you look at the happiest man on earth (though i don't think one was ever elected), he would still have gone through hardships in life. It is unavoidable. The fitrah of us humans.

But the extent of the hardships? That is subjective. Some are tested with hardships their whole life, some for a day, some for months. But wherever there is hardship, there is always happiness that would come following. This sequence is actually a reminder. A reminder that Allah wants us to benefit this ease for good before it gets hard, as said by our beloved prophet pbuh:

"Take advantage of five before five: your life before your death, your health before your illness, your free time before becoming busy, your youth before your old age and your wealth before your poverty."

Sorry, but that was kinda out of topic, but if ur interested, ive already posted it once a time ago here.

Whatever the hardships are, no matter how hard you are tested, you would know that u are always capable of going through it. Or would i? Could i just keep saying its possible? That i'm fine? That i could go through it?

For example, something you worked on for years, ended with nothing. 

Can you just keep saying, 'owh its fine, im good.' Im sure you would be cryin your hearts out. YEARS paid for nothing. Nothing.

Now this is a test on you. 

Now this is within your capacity. 

Now this was fated on you.

WHAT? So why did i even start if it was gonna end like this? Fated? Isn't it too much? And if i just can't stand it, where does 'within you capacity' come in?

So what does 'la yukallifullaha nafsan illa wus'aha' really mean??

Now, now..be brief..i said it was gonna be brief, but somehow in tryin to build the atmosphere and understanding of the situation i bragged quite alot didn't i. So i apologise, and the answer will be brief.

There's two things i understood from this verse that would fade all doubts.

1) Fate is, to do it, and ask that Allah makes good out of it. If it turns out bad, then He knew it would turn out bad. If it went good, He knew too. Me? I just did it, because i didn't.

2) Within our capacity, is never what we thought was our capacity. We knew nothing about ourselves. Our capacities, capabilities, limits. He knew. Not us. Him. So if He says it is within capacity, then it sure is.

Just believe, because He knows us.

P/S: These tests, they make us stronger. We'll surely pass, if only we tried to see.

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

A night to think about

Last night was a really long night.
I read something about thinking..

it wasn't actually about the general brain juicing activity, but more to the meaning of contemplating, analysing type of think.
And it really did get me thinking.
I thought about life, i thought about death
I thought about my sins and my deeds
I thought about which was better, and which was more..
Then i thought about
what i've done, and what i'll be doing..
what i've said and what i'll be saying..
what i've seen and what i want to see..
and finally i asked myself,
what have i achieved in life??
and what really do i want to achieve..

And Alhamdulillah, a few things were straightened out...
You really should try it, STOP and THINK..


Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Unsubstantial

Life is dull? Boring? A repetition of two or three routines?
So make it  unsubstantial, and you'll see what life really is.



Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.

For You are the Almighty

A form in forgiving about history.

Expectations and unexpectations. Things that we encounter everyday in life. But believe me, it all comes from what we choose, what we desire. Despite the fact that Allah plans it all out for us, it is still always about choosing. I mean you can choose to do, or not-do. You can choose to forgive, or hate. You can choose to live, or die. For goodnes sake, you can even choose Heaven, or Hell.
So when one day. you walk out and suddenly see that you've took the wrong step,
NEVER...i repeat...NEVER blame it on conditions, NEVER blame it on someone else. They may have pushed you, shoved you and persuaded you on the path, but it is still YOU who decided to keep walking, never looking back, though knowing that the road was a diversion, you still liked it, because it was full of berries fruiting off the side bushes.
So whatever happened in the past, let it be a history. Though the come-back would be tiring, never give-up, never regret, for you knew it all along, its just that you didn't realise. So stop regretting for the time you've wasted. Stand up, turn around and return to His path. And praise all to Him who has shown you the way.

"We have indeed sent down signs that make things manifest: and Allah guides whom He wills to a way that is straight."

An-Nur 24:46

 Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho..

Thome Sings to ponder..

Brains gone a bit dizzy...i really should stop this habit of analysing humans and predicting their next move..
One of the things that weaken us is 'Ujub', and 'ujub only comes when you predict and compare others with yourself..

and in the end you come out with..
"im better than her"
or
"im better than him"

Must stop comparing..