Alhamdulillah...

I donno know...but today i'm just too grateful to Allah, why?
Because i could wake up to pray this morning, because i have everything in life, because HE has aided me so much, and most importantly,
Because i am actually still alive for this second..and this next second...and another second...
I think thats more than enough to be grateful for...

Forgeting

One once said to me,
One day..i would step into my house, close the door behind me, and suddenly realise that i forgot my wife at the market..
Funny isn't it..
But its true, because sincerely, i'm forgetful..(but i'm not married yet).
Forgetting things is the most severing habit of all...because:

1. What you forget is what you will lose. And when you lose it, the same thing comes out.."Irresponsible.Take things for granted.Unready.Careless."
   
   
2. What you need and intend to find will not be found (but when not, is found!). Then you blame others for misplacing it. You turn the house inside out, only to finally realise it was in your bag all along.
   
   
3. What you've memorized is unrecallable. So as you sit in the exam hall..you suddenly find out that its gone. But since you are acquaint with the equation, you start deriving it logically..and you end up leaving out.a constant value.(Circuit Theory>Huh?).

Familiar?
Well, today i'm not here to pour out my feelings for failing to answer, or for the weakness Allah has created on me.
But today i realised that forgetting things in life can be replaced, but forgetting Allah and his Greatness can not. So if i succeed in remembering Allah, every time, everyday, as i speak, as i walk, as i see, as i hear, especially as i pray...
everything else that i forget matters too less.

"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah;
For without doubt, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction"
Ar-Ra'ad [13:28]

For Those Who Try So Hard

And rush towards forgiveness from your Lord, and towards a Paradise that can hold all the heavens and the earth in its width - prepared for the pious.
Those who spend in Allah’s cause, in happiness and in grief, and who control their anger and are forgiving towards mankind; and the righteous are the beloved of Allah.
And those who, when they commit an immoral act or wrong themselves, remember Allah and seek forgiveness of their sins - and who forgives sins except Allah? And those who do not purposely become stubborn regarding what they did.
For such the reward is forgiveness from their Lord, and Gardens beneath which rivers flow - abiding in it forever; what an excellent reward for the performers (of good deeds)!

Al-'Imran 3:133-136



For those searching for Allah's forgiveness,
For those needing His mercy,
For those despaired with the sins committed,

Remember,
He is the Most Merciful, have faith and hope in Him, call to Allah alone for forgiveness, because those who believe will always repent.

"O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind.

O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you.

O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it."
(Hadith Qudsi)

Forgive Me Allah...
Forgive Me Allah...
Forgive Me Allah...

Missing You

Its this Monday, the day that will become evident of my efforts here. A proof of whether this whole semester was just my dreams or reality.
Mines will be done at the hall..and its starts with Engineering Mathematics 1.
Yeah, I know. As a man this really shouldn't come out...but seriously...
I miss my family...mom,dad,please pray for my success..

AND

I really miss YOU oh Allah...
Its been too long, too hard.I can't stand it.
Please...please forgive me, please bless me, please love me.
Please come back...

Insha Allah - Maher Zainthe song will autostart

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and
That your so alone
All you're see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
You’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

But don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Oh Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one to showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insha Allah x3
Insha Allah we’ll find our way

This song meant alot to me..please hear and you'll feel it too..
Insha Allah...

Time goes on..

If only i shut my mouth.
If only i stopped.
If only...if only..
This is regret..and I've done it so many times.
I know that time is irreversible and you can never return to what has passed...but i think reminding yourself that at a certain time, you could have done something else, that you shouldn't have done what you did, that you knew that it was wrong but you still did it under ignorance, and you just totally regret..isn't wrong..
To regret is to try stop..taubah. and it is important.
I can learn, i can change, but what happens to the person inflicted, can i take back my words?can i heal the pain?
this post can be removed, but what you have read can not.
So what can i do..i donno, just hope that Allah aids me..

Understanding

When you see an undertaker, what would you think? A man..who in his everyday life, see corpse, dig graves, and dwell with the deceased...Knows where, when and even how it's most suitable to dig. He's the first to come and one of the last to leave, the closest to witness the burial, the one, last holding the dead. But my point is..
Is HE the one who remembers most about death?
Does HE cry everynite, hoping that it will not be him buried tomorrow?
Will HE always be worried that he'll be unworthy of Jannah?
OR
Is he just the common person, who admires the sky for its beauty and scowls when it storms, who laughs when has wealth and cries when its gone, who lives life as it is, dies when death comes?
*This is an analogy..hopefully it shall not be related to any lives....
or deaths.
Brothers and sisters, you see, life is not about how many perspectives it can be perceived in, its not about some ridiculous philosopher, its not about how many hours you can speak of it, its not about your opinion, neither is it about mine.

But its all about how much you understand of it.
So you can go read all the tafseers from around the globe, go write as many notes you can, go discuss about philosophies to any extent,but it would all be useless if you don't even understand why you live, why you pray, why you were even created.
Understanding life isn't about the clarity of explaining it, but its the purity of living it.

How is it that
When we pray..we feel nothing?
When we prostrate..we're still proud?
When we spread our hands in dua'..we don't know what to ask?
When we could see..we just watch?
When we could hear..we just listen?
When we could feel..we just touch?

Then we blame that He forgot us, that He doesn't answer us, that He wasn't there for us..
But who is it that really forgets?That really was blind?That really never realised?
Our life is too much of a routine, that we feel nothing when we repeat the same thing. Our prayers become a must because praying is what every Muslim does, our dua's are a must because every Muslim asks.

Please watch this video and you'll understand:




Its a matter of the heart, to realise, to understand and to return it to Him..
Just come back to Him even a step, and He'll come to you a thousand times closer..

This is for Ajwad..

Dear friends this will be my first paragraph of my novel..please read and comment.thanks..

“To foresee the future of a generation, look at its teenagers now.”
Yusuf al-Qardhawi
"A strong generation shows a strong future, a wise generation fulfills a wise future, a respected generation promises a respectful future."
(ibnuqamar)

Pitch black. That is the only description compatible enough to elucidate the state he was in as he flailed his groping hands, stretched out to the infinite distance that could only be predicted by his ambiguous instincts. His steady stride was evident of the long journey he had endured, coordinated only by the tug directing him deep in his heart. The light. Get to the light. The darkness was an undefined stretch, but experience taught him to never judge by what is unimaginable so he maintained his head straight, eyeing explicitly for the tiniest signs of light, and for the man. Yes, the old man he had known too well, standing beyond the door, offering his rough hand to liberate him from the sinister shadows. But ‘this time’ he could feel that things would turn up completely different. Either the journey was too long, maybe too far, or just a bit chillier than last time, but surely something was totally wrong and he could feel it tingling in his nerves. He was supposed to see the light by now, not a bright white flash, but just a dimming glow, sufficient to catch the attention of even the weakest sight, but either his eyes were weaker than that, or it just wasn’t there. Though instincts convinced him that it would come in view, sooner or later, his confidence weren’t. The blind remoteness surrounding his senses had totally deceived his hopes. He finally stopped, turning his head side to side, displaying so much of his desperateness to see the light. No light, no escape. He never considered being trapped as a logical possibility, since he had never experienced it, but the situation now drove his mind to contemplate about the consequences of it occurring and nothing else than it. Then it suddenly hit him, and it hit so hard that he fell, slumping his feeble body on the bare ground, sweeping the invisible dust as he curled up. Could this really be his end? Coma? Death? His desperateness had reached its limit, surpassing the confidence he had built throughout the multiple times he endured the similar course. Reckless tears gathered in his right eye trickled horizontally, pulled by the gravity pressing his face onto the floor, crossing the nose and running straight into his left eye, adding to the flow of tears already dripping onto the floor.

My Weekend (1)

Today i flagged all the classes and stayed at my room (Sorry mdm TATA, but someone told us ur on leave).well i'm not saying that it was righteous or not, but it gave me more time to recover from the weekend of adrenaline burst. Futsal, jungle trekking, obstacle run, and qiamuillail in two days and a nite? Yeah, of course i had my auto reboots..especially during the qiamullail,which sincerely i regret.
But back to the point,the period gave me a clearer mind to analyse my weekend. And this is what i got.

During the futsal game, my team reached the quarter finals and we got a draw. so the ref ordered a penalty. Karim's shot bounced off the keeper but Alhamdulillah i saved a goal myself. but then the ref tossed a coin. i chose heads but it was tails, so the other team chose to shoot and of course i failed to save it. it was a one in a million chance that i totally regret being unable to take, though i witnessed the ball fly inches over my left hand. i really regretted it and kept thinking of the possibilities ONLY IF I HAD SAVED THE BALL..throughout the whole day.But Alhamdulillah, my friend reminded me about Allah's will so i stopped regretting immediately.

On the commuter, i saw a couple.muslims.young.smart.and holding hands.NO! HUGGING to be exact.And my disgust was more than losing futsal just because of a lucky toss, that my fists started shaking.i don't know, i've seen phenomenons as such much many other times, but this time i was really shaking and to sooth it down, i held onto the metal railing nearest to me.

So what is it that i learned?
1. When we live our life, Allah will test us with things that are too unacceptable by our logical minds, til we start questioning, regretting and even blaming. we ask for fairness, for a replay..whereas we forget that Allah's plans in this world are much better than ours, and wouldnt regretting only mean that we are denying His Authority. anyway, isnt it much better to think about the utter regret we will go through in the hereafter because of our useless life in this world than regret useless things in this world that would never be brought forth to the hereafter?
Allah said in the Quran..
"Verily, We sent (Messengers) to many nations before you (O Muhammad SAW). And We seized them with extreme poverty (or loss in wealth) and loss in health with calamities so that they might believe with humility."
Al-An'aam 42.

2. Many people in this world realise that theyre Musims. Malaysians even have it stated on their IC. But the major question is do we understand our life as a muslim? Do we see how important Allah is in our heart?if so how come we keep committing sins though we are confident that we will die.those couples,say that i asked them who are their gods, will they answer Allah. will they say that they believe that one day, they shall die and they will be questioned on their life, their deeds, their time?i bet they will.but does it show that they do?
Rasulullah SAW once said
"Iman is not a dream, nor is it something that can be complied easily, but it what that is secured in the heart and prooved by actions."
So someone can never say he is a muslim if he is incapable of following each and every orders of Allah. Its that simple but so hard to follow.Why? because our hearts are too accustomed to this wealthy, fun and happy world. So brothers and sister, think about it..Are you a Muslim?

Maybe this is ikhlas?

Okay, so i was stdying 4 tommorows test and suddenly i stopped and i realised..
Why am i stdying?

If i'm not even sincere in doing it for Allah, why bother.isnt that supposed to be how life is?isnt that why i should not post as long as i'm sincere in doing it?

ok.i can stop studying, but wouldn't that affect my exam? if i fail, i'll have to repeat it next sem. the lecturer might dislike me, but it is ok since i'm not doin it insincerely?

Alhamdulillah, that question opened my mind and i finally realised.Whatever it is ..
i still have to study to pass,
i still have to pray,
i still have to close my 'aurah,
i still have to do good, though my heart may not be doing it sincerely.
so what is ikhlas?

The Rasul (S) was asked the meaning of Ikhlas and he said that he would ask the Great Jibra’eel (AS). When he asked the Jibra'eel, he said that he would have to ask Allah, thus showing the importance of the question and of getting the right answer from the Highest authority.
Allah’s reply was: “It is a secret of My secrets. I have deposited it in the heart of the Abd (slave) that I love. No angel knows it, so it is not written, and no shaytan knows it, so it is not spoiled.”

Subhanallah, the secrets of His secrets..so the Only One capable of valuing a persons sincerity is non-other than Allah.So why do i have to care whether initially i'm doing it for Allah or not, as long as throughout the hardships i undergo,
i remember Allah.
Behind the enforcement i set to myself in doing 'amal,
i try to make it lillahita'ala.
And i'll do my best in ensuring that there will be a time in my heart when i realise that though people can't see me,though people don't recognise me,though i'm alone..
i'm doing it for no-one else than ALLAH..InsyaAllah..

So,why post?

Because i have to, and InsyaAllah i'll put full effort in making it Ikhlas (though i apologise for the small glitches). Since ikhlas does not decide our hearts whether we should do 'amal or not..but our hearts decide whether our 'amal shall be ikhlas or not.

MAYBE THIS IS IKHLAS

Why post?

"because i have blog.."
"because i have to?"
"because i want to?"

Yes.its true, i haven't posted for such a long time, but these questions keep haunting my mind..what am i doing it for..
So am i now posting?

I dunno..please to anyone who has answers..please..