Maybe this is ikhlas?

Okay, so i was stdying 4 tommorows test and suddenly i stopped and i realised..
Why am i stdying?

If i'm not even sincere in doing it for Allah, why bother.isnt that supposed to be how life is?isnt that why i should not post as long as i'm sincere in doing it?

ok.i can stop studying, but wouldn't that affect my exam? if i fail, i'll have to repeat it next sem. the lecturer might dislike me, but it is ok since i'm not doin it insincerely?

Alhamdulillah, that question opened my mind and i finally realised.Whatever it is ..
i still have to study to pass,
i still have to pray,
i still have to close my 'aurah,
i still have to do good, though my heart may not be doing it sincerely.
so what is ikhlas?

The Rasul (S) was asked the meaning of Ikhlas and he said that he would ask the Great Jibra’eel (AS). When he asked the Jibra'eel, he said that he would have to ask Allah, thus showing the importance of the question and of getting the right answer from the Highest authority.
Allah’s reply was: “It is a secret of My secrets. I have deposited it in the heart of the Abd (slave) that I love. No angel knows it, so it is not written, and no shaytan knows it, so it is not spoiled.”

Subhanallah, the secrets of His secrets..so the Only One capable of valuing a persons sincerity is non-other than Allah.So why do i have to care whether initially i'm doing it for Allah or not, as long as throughout the hardships i undergo,
i remember Allah.
Behind the enforcement i set to myself in doing 'amal,
i try to make it lillahita'ala.
And i'll do my best in ensuring that there will be a time in my heart when i realise that though people can't see me,though people don't recognise me,though i'm alone..
i'm doing it for no-one else than ALLAH..InsyaAllah..

So,why post?

Because i have to, and InsyaAllah i'll put full effort in making it Ikhlas (though i apologise for the small glitches). Since ikhlas does not decide our hearts whether we should do 'amal or not..but our hearts decide whether our 'amal shall be ikhlas or not.

MAYBE THIS IS IKHLAS