Today, i was in dilemma..again.
To stay or to leave.
It came like two months ago, and it never left. i mean the dilemma.
So i thought, and everytime i stopped thinking, i would think again, and again. A decision is so important, it would manipulate a future. My future. Their future. And so after considering all circumstances, all conditions, i decided.
And so using the reasons as assurance, i texted him. This is called isti'zan.
And the reply;
"In your night prayers? Have you asked Allah?. If so, then do proceed".
thud. my heart fell. literally..
The reply was simple, but it hurt that much.
I thought i had considered everything.
I thought I've thought of all thoughts. no. forget about thoughts.
I decided like i knew everything. Like the future was mine to see. I was so sure that all circumstances had been considered.
But did i ever consider the condition called future? Was the situation called reality in my reasonings? no way. those are over your limits dude..
Thats it!! Limits!! Since when were we ever over our limits!!
no. forget being over.
Since when were WE limitless!??
And that's when it triggered. a comprehension for this ignorance. for this pride. for this post. and for this repentance.
our sight, our smell, our hearing, our touch, our feeling, our thoughts. us. is all limited.
So to say that something as limited as us can consider ALL..is stupid. barely stupid.
Think about a boat, floating beyond the sea. Heading your way. You can't see it (derr..the earth is round,don't be so colombus), so how the heck do you know its gonna show up?
~Err..hello..that's why we have R-A-D-A-R signals..stoneman.
So using that signal. You are sure that its gonna show up?
And if suddenly it sinks. without a reason. without a forecast. suddenly. Would you know?
~Of course no. that is an unpredicted incident. UNPREDICTED. no man could know
No man could know..
That's the thing. We have been too reliable on our abilities. Mens abilities, that we have forgotten the true power.
We step into the car, and turn on our GPS's.
We take medication, and follow the prescriptions.
We forecast rain, and bring our umbrellas.
We close our eyes, and think of tomorrow.
Yet again my dear friend.
Have we ever thought that actually, really, nothing is in the power of ours to plan, nothing is in the power of ours to foresee, to predict, to expect, to assure.
That all this power, all this control, can only be yielded by one power.
One that has no weakness..
that never started..
that never ended..
that ever sustains..
that never dies..
So there. we never had any reason as assurance. ever.
So now. never plan?
Plan, but never assure.
Plan, and ask for assurance.
And that's where istikharah comes
Because He plans all, sees all, knows all, hears all..
ALMIGHTY IS ALLAH . ASSURANCE IS ALLAH
p/s: if you thought i'd mention about mariage..then sorry mate, you're on the wrong page..istikharah isn't just about marriage!!
For You are the Almighty