Speechless. Wordless

Please, I ask for you to spend just this 12 minutes and watch.

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Basics?

Today i came across this hadith twice. Coincidence? Lets just consider it reminders.
And i'll re-quote it, just for the sake reference.

From the Amir al-Muminin Abu Hafs 'Umar ibn al-Khattab, radiya'llahu 'anhu, that he said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, saying, 'Actions are only by intentions, and every man has only that which he intended. Whoever's emigration is for Allah and His Messenger then his emigration is for Allah and His Messenger. Whoever's emigration is for some worldly gain which he can acquire or a woman he will marry then his emigration is for that for which he emigrated'." The two Imams of the hadith scholars narrated it - Abu Abdullah Muhammad ibn Isma'il ibn Ibrahim ibn al-Mughirah ibn Bardizbah al-Bukhari and Abu'l-Husein Muslim ibn al-Hajjaj ibn Muslim al-Qushayri an-Naysaburi - in their two sahih books which are the most sahih books compiled.

Yeah, i know, most of you would be saying things like.."this is basics bro..this is gonna get boring!!"
But there are a few things i got today that i think would really be valuable if i shared it, so pay attention first before you start bragging on how much you've memorized it.
1. Notice that the narrator of this hadith was no ordinary person. notice how you can't find many hadiths narrated by him. understanding this, we could conclude that this hadith was something very very important for Umar.
2. That this hadith was actually placed as the FIRST hadith in ALL of Imam Nawawi's books. yet again such priority and importance.

So alrite, you get the point. its important. and its talking about being ikhlas in your 'amal.
So that makes it easier for me to go on.
So you would be saying,
"ive never had problems with my niat. i know that when i do things, its for Allah"
So maybe its true.
But just remember, the basis of 'amal is,
To do something,with full effort,by sacrificing your money, your energy, your time,sacrificing all that you thought was personally all yours
and in the end
when its done,to leave it in such perfectness that everyone would be astonished and ask who did it. but then you would have left,silently,asking for nothing back,no words of gratitude,no symbol of appreciation from anyone,to not even think of getting it.

Are we always like that??
My dear friends, with such delicacies of the heart, it is said to be impossible.we will always lose to the pleasure of being praised, we would always be proud when others see, and sometimes we even intend to show.

So now what? How to win?
Well, the thing that i got, was...
"Just renew your niat everytime,every second, at every incedent. because to fight the heart that always shifts, is to have a niat that always reminds"

 Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Lacking.

“My dear, remember; our real rest is up there. Have strength. Have perseverance.”

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Love 02

Al-Baqarah 2:165

Yet there are men who take (for worship) others besides Allah, as equal (with Allah.: They love them as they should love Allah. But those of Faith are overflowing in their love for Allah. If only the unrighteous could see, behold, they would see the penalty: that to Allah belongs all power, and Allah will strongly enforce the penalty.

Ok..so there's been this loooong break..again..
But you all must know..this is my FIRST sequel..and initiating a sequel..isn't as easy as it seems..because once you have an idea..it doesnt stay that long. so to discuss a certain matter..and generate the same idea to continue the discussion..just takes a lot of effort..and with the time constraint and everything, plus the way of organising my words..its just too hard to be put into words (really??)

Hm..actually all this complaining and moaning..were just to justify the fact that i was unable to comply with the promise of asap..
I'm sorry..

BUT..however late it may be..here it is..
and in relevance to the long wait, i'll make it a long post, insyaAllah...have strength dear friends, and keep reading..

LOVE 02

.WARNING.

IF U HAVEN'T READ LOVE01, YOU SHOULD OR U MIGHT MISUNDERSTAND THINGS !

Now in this sequel..i will have to make a new approach..and this approach will be in a story. And this story is about..hm..
lets give him a name..how about Yusuf?
his age?..lets start with 10
OK..so..it'll be about Yusuf..the no ordinary kid..(but not from 'no ordinary family'.a joke, huhu donno whether u understand or not)

Now why i chose this name must not be questioned because it is MY story rite??
ok.here goes.

Yusuf is a kid..he goes to an islamic school..(MUST we give the school a name also??, naah that would be too much)..and being 10 years old, he's living his childhood life at the peak. no worries..no exams..no nothing. All FUN.just the way a kid should live..

11 years old..something in him changes. He begins to get attracted to girls. Now remember this is an islamic school, so Yusuf gets interested in this certain girl..shes cute, bright and nice, but he knows that boys and girls aren't supposed to be loving, though he doesn't really understand why..but being a kid, it was his first time..and the feeling crushed his logic mind.
Such that when she raised her hand to answer in class, he would raise it too and when she had to ride the bus home, he would ride it too, even when she said her ambition was to be a nurse, he would say his was to be a doctor, all just for the sake of showing similarity. He scratched her name on his arm, he wrote it with marker on his foot,  would shout her name when he was alone, secretly stalking everywhere she went. He would write a letter using his left hand, expressing his feelings and everything in his heart, but then deliberately blurred out the sender, lied when suspected by the discipline teacher, and proved it with his right handwriting. He crazed for her, WHY?? Because he was in love..

So as he lived for another two years b4 ending his primary school, he just kept that feeling to himself...and also his bestest friend, and the best friend of his bestest friend, and any other best friend, frankly speaking, nearly everyone knew, but the girl....didn't.

3 years after his first love, he entered secondary school, a school that emphasises Islam as the true way of life..(*in other words an islamic school, but sincerely i never liked that word, i'll tell you why next time). It must be noted here that this school separates the male and female education. So there he had time to think about his feelings properly without suddenly bumping into any girls that might attract him.
He then learnt that love must be controlled, and loving Allah and living for Him is the PROPER obsession. So there on he stopped loving her...but the feeling would never fade, it always hovered around somewhere in his heart, sometimes emerging in his dreams, sometimes disturbing in his daydreams..

15, he took PMR and After PMR he changed school..and entered a mixed school. Initially he was ok..principles still strong, but months pass and again his feelings came, this time to someone really close.
It started with interest.
Then he liked her because she had a way that showed commitment to Islam.
Then he cared for her. So he had a mission. His intentions were pure, to change her into someone better. Lillahita'ala.
He got her number. They text each other. Not so often, but occasionally. Like when one would start with tawakkal for exams, then it would go on to about 10 to 20 messages, and gudnite. Now lets just call it seasonally shall we.
But before anything could get serious, Yusuf realised his mistake, and by not replying to her, she spontaneously realised where the relationship was going to. So they stopped.

However, something inside him had changed, his principles had crumbled and all that was left was the wall. He turned into a person who could fall and melt to any girl kind enough to him, it was critical, if u knew him at that time and even just sent a simple letter thanking him for teaching u biology, he would fall for you.
Pervert?? Call him whatever you want because that was him.
But alhamdulillah, with the wall, the obsessions were kept inside.just feelings..nothing more.
 He lasted for a year with the wall, but  a tragedy happened and he himself let the cat out of the bag. With Allah's aid, the girl didn't notice but others saw it clearly enough.

Being traumatic of this incident, Yusuf regretted and developed a new strategy. He called it the love transfer. Wherever he went, Yusuf would pronounce to himself a girl, kind beyond dreams, smart and fair as much, as an admirer that only he would be aware of. But the trick was, she would have to be someone beyond contact, someone he knew he would never reach.

The first week..success
The first month..success
The first year..success
The second year..also began with success
But in the middle of it..his worst dreams came true..his strategy had found its glitch. He forgot that the one who controls is only Allah. What happened was somehow he got in touch with the girl he admired. Either it was deliberate or a coincident, only Allah knows. And for a while he was lost. His heart had built up pillars of adoration to her and suddenly she was in front of him. He had dreamed to see her and here she was. No hesitation, no fear. He confidently made the approach. He looked back at her everytime she glanced at him. He smiled at her even when she couldn't see. He had become the old him. He was no more the Yusuf he knew in his early secondary school.

But remember, with every dark comes light, and Allah showed him back the path. Though reluctant to return fully embracing Allah's love, time and Hidayah processed him. He learned back the lessons he forgot. He loved her but it was just love. The truth was, he knew that if it came to marriage she just wasn't suitable yet. So why was he playing with his heart. Why did he even let the feelings flower up in his heart?
Why? Don't ask me, ask him.

And so after many hard days of cleansing his heart, he came back to Allah, realising the mistakes he had done all this while, he finally put the love to Allah as priority..and though through time he would sometimes fall, he accepted them as tests from Allah to build him into a stronger person.

Ok

for you all level-headed readers here, i know by now you'd be questioning, why the heck would i wanna know about some stupid kids love story rite??

So here's the golden opportunity not many bloggers give, you are free to comment on whatever you want, because this post ends here.

P/S: The no.3 is one of my favourite numbers...(other than 15)

Ya Allah, for my heart is only for You

guide me to Your love

The 'Sense'ble Lesson

In the name of Allah,
He who when sees, sees everything 
He who when hears, hears anything
He who when understands, understands all things

Now when discussing about senses, we could come back to the basics in science, where we (hoping that you all also have a scientific educational background) learned about our the senses in the human body. correct me if im wrong, it was in form 2 maybe?
We learned about what its made of..
the heat sensors, oval windows (semicircular canals?), vitreous humour
How it functions..
vibrations transferred into impulses by the cochlea? images on the retina? through the auditory nerves and grey matter?
And if i'm not mistaken, even to the extent of the consequences that might occur to our body if it malfunctions...

"Err,Hello...Hi, i'm bintuqamar, i'm a baccalaureate in pre-med..i got 4.00 for my first sem, 3.95 for the second and here i am reading some nonsense guy taking electrical engineering, trying to flag on something medical??Ewww!!.." (because its a girl)

Alrite2, even if ur not a pre-med student..or a med student..or even a girl,i apologise for that, and also for the effort in bringing out one of my nostalgic knowledge..maybe i missed them too much..

Whatever it is..my point here is that in this world, we claim to understand matters to such a high extent, yet we still question ourselves why the heck do we even learn them. I mean you could know about every single part there is in your body but would you even know why they exist??

In this context, comes the verse;

وَلَقَدْ ذَرَأْنَا لِجَهَنَّمَ كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الْجِنِّ وَالإِنسِ لَهُمْ قُلُوبٌ لاَّ يَفْقَهُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ أَعْيُنٌ لاَّ يُبْصِرُونَ بِهَا وَلَهُمْ آذَانٌ لاَّ يَسْمَعُونَ بِهَا أُوْلَـئِكَ كَالأَنْعَامِ بَلْ هُمْ أَضَلُّ أُوْلَـئِكَ هُمُ الْغَافِلُونَ

 And certainly We have created for Hell many of the jinn and mankind;  they have hearts with which they fail to understand; and they have eyes with which they fail to see; and they have ears with which they fail to hear. They are like cattle - indeed, even more astray. Such are utterly heedless
(Al-A'araf 7:179)

Here Allah explains to us, that in life, we must comprehend and understand the use of these perfect senses Allah has given us. BUT understanding alone is not enough, because there is a point, where IF we, mankind  fail to benefit the faculties of observation, hearing and reasoning, then it comes back to the first point..

HELL

And don't ask me why, bcoz Allah has cleared it crystal enough..
If we can't understand like we should, see things like we should, and listen to what we should..then how much better are we from cows and sheep. We'll be like filthy, corrupted and heedless creations wouldn't we?? And what use would that be rite??

So how should i actually use them??

What, haven't you been using them for the past decades??

Just use it as we always have, just with something new;When we see, stare (not too long, or people will stare back) and ask, am i seeing dunnya or akhirah.
When we hear, prick up our ears and ask, am i listening to reminders or entertainment.
When our hearts begin to love this world and contemplate about its condition in it..stop it..and tell it to love Allah, understand Him and our status in his visions


 Ya Allah.For my sight, my hearing, my heart, are all yours.Then let it function only for You.

Love 01

IF UR READING THIS...DO NOT CLICK THE RED 'X'..

Oh.come on..I know that by the time you saw this title you'd already be thinking that this post would be all about the 'so called' boring things like loving Allah..loving the Prophet PBUH..or loving our friends lillahita'ala..

SO IF U ARE..then STOP.

Because shockingly..today Abdur Rahiim Khamaruzaman will be talking about the thing that he reproaches the most.

L. O. V. E...

I really think explanation would be unnescessary, but just in case you still think im talking about the wrong love..

I am talkin about the feeling you have seeing ur bf or gf or future fiancee or future husband/wife...or whatever other things you call it..

I am talkin about the admiration filling ur heart as you glance at the most handsome guy or fairest lady in college..

And YES i am talkin about how our hearts melt as we see the kindness, sweetness and softness of the pearl of our eyes..get it?

This IS ABOUT LOVE

And I really mean LOVE...literally..

huh..even saying the word makes me tremble..

So what triggered this obnoxious post?

Yesterday, and today..yup, its been two days that mom has asked me..
And it sounds something like this;

" If ever one day, you really fall in love with someone, and you start thinking about marriage, what will you do. "

Then I would laugh out..questioning whether it was a joke.

She then said; "No, i'm discussing this seriously."

So i replied with my all noble face:

"Mama, you now that i was just joking about syifa', 'aisyah and even fatimah (all not real names)..sincerely, i know how to control myself."

Well, lately this year, i have been showing her some girls, giving her some names to add in 'the list' and truthfully i had always considered it a joke.you know, just a son-and-mom joke..and she would always say.."there he goes again"..
Back to the story..

Then she would say;

"My dear son, you WILL one day suddenly see your true love, and all that you would be thinking about at that time would be..marriage..then what will you do.."

And there i was dumbstruck, not only in knowing that she was seriously serious..but also that this has never occurred yet, and she convinced me that it will

" I donno..what can i do?"

And then it came out..

" If it does not bother you, i plead..please dear son, when you meet her, and your heart knows that insyaAllah you will be together..please keep her away for the moment..please wait..when the time really comes.."

Now, i know there will be many misunderstandings from this story..things like..
what do you mean by when the time comes?
why the heck am i telling u this story for?
whats the problem with ur mom?
and also..
like whats the problem with YOU?


Man..to solve it all, i'll be needing to tell a loooong story.
And you know how irritating long posts can get..and it is even more suffering for the one writing it..
so i'll stop here..let the questions float for a few days..and if u really think i should continue ASAP, please say so..
P/S: The post is called Love 01..

Ya Allah, for my heart is only for You

guide me to Your love

Thy Heart

There, there. So they say time changes people. and truly it does. I've somehow become a different me now. But still me. And though people ask, people question, wanting to know why, none understands. For it is the whispers of thy heart, and doth not He who creates the heart know more about thy thoughts and counsels of thy heart. Thus shall thy tell of it to none other than Him.
And truly, He is the Most-Listening.


Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

And You Now See..

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahiim.

Ya Rahmaanu irham dha'fana..

My Lord, My Creator, My Superior, My Persevere,

Please listen to my prayers, for today, i seek You, i need You, i return to You, 

and today, i finally see You, after being blind for so long,

So all i ask Ya Allah, 

please keep me on this road.

In the night I pray, I'm seeking Your way, its just for You.

When I shed a tear, I know You're near, its just for You. 

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Ya Allah I plead..

something's missing in my heart..something that i once held firm, something that i loved, something that i'm needing so much now..
as he promised, He will always be there

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Fighting the Heart

There are times..when one just can't listen to the heart..times when it tells us to do things that we know is wrong.
So how to fight it?
Here's a tip..learn to hate..hate what it likes..if it is a person, then hate him/her..if it is a thing, hate it..if it is a behavior,hate it..
But don't show your hatred..just let your heart and yourself know..and InsyaAllah, by time, it'll work.

This Silence

I know...its long..no2, too long..since i posted something. and if u understand this post, you'll somehow understand why.
today im gonna discuss the characteristics of a tide...no i'm no civil engineer..or a man who's interested in collecting renewable source of energy (tidal energy, like the one in France)..but the thing that makes tides and ourselves similar is that it has its ups and downs...its strong and weak..
i mean..sometimes we can be so powerful, that even the hardest obstacle would be like a pebble on the road, if not crushed, easily kicked out of the way..
but then at other times we can be so feeble, that even the slightest problem would make us crumble down and fail..
again..i am not promoting a regular gym routine..because this certain strength matters much more than the physical strength. Its about something inside..
But its okay..alhamdulillah, its now okay..i was just needing a little
time..a lot of effort..and a short silence..
and of course..strength from non other than Him..Alhamdulillah..

this hypocrisy

ok, things are getting a bit hectic this week.
everyday, there would always be a new problem, but i dont mind. its a challenge for me.
have you ever felt that you were born in this world to please others, and make your own self suffer?
well not literally suffer..but you just can't 100% be yourself.
i do. kudos to me..
having to please others is one of the problems i have to face everyday.
ever heard of : "you've changed" or "stop acting" or even "dont need to be friends anymore" ?
if you have, then good. if you havent, then good also.
its just hard to please everyone at the same time. i don't care much if  people hate me for being who i am, but what hurts me the most is the fact that i sometimes lose in this battle of hypocrisy. that i sometimes surrender, questioning the rationals in wearing this 'mask', getting tired of being this actor. but in the end i learned that sometimes i just can't bluntly follow my heart..be who i wanna be..do what i wanna do..
for in Islam, there are rules, there are borders and lines, and if i fail to follow these lines closely, how am i supposed to gather my friends in the border?

friends are not measured on how long you have known them, but on how close you are with them and how much you care for them. not just here, but also in the hereafter.
and i admit that i care a lot for my friends. in fact, i care too much that some even consider me being a busybody. stopping them from falling in love, questioning each and everything they do, accusing them for minor things. but i believe as Rasulullah SAW once said:

"A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace." 
[Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

so i apologise when things have been weird, or i've gone too much into your lives. i've been trying so hard to be the perfume and when i hold on to a principle, it clings to me like there's no tomorrow, so in the end, people hate me, i loose friend(s), and these are my weaknesses..
so please, as a human who does wrong..advice me in my weakness, where there is a possibility..i'll change..
and maybe you'll be the 'perfume' for me..

P/S: this is not a surrender...for i'll still be who i plan to be. though you call it 'bad' i call it a job..

Just 4 ladies..(19 above only)

Ok. Frankly speaking (writing)..this is being more of a counterpost to the gender-biased post before this. So when I finally decided on the topic.. I actually realised that I'm not that much expert in advising the opposite gender..
So here's what i've to say..
Have you ever been to a shopping mall..ok lets say SOGO..and it was a big sale day. Say that you arrive at the purse department. So there would be discounts..30%..50%..and even 70% off!! Okay..in your mind at that time..which would be more valuable? A purse on discount or the one under the NEW ARRIVALS?
Think about it..if you girls keep selling yourselves..promoting yourselves..with LOW PRICES, and even discounts..believe me..you will be the center of attraction. For a while. But the real demand would be for the new and clean. It would be everyone's dream..and the one's on discounts would be a temporary possession..depending on its attractiveness and up-to-dateness. Maybe a week..maybe two..
So think about it..
Think about your outfit before going out..AM I THAT CHEAP?
Think about your attitude before mingling with others..AM I THAT DESPERATE?
THINK..

My dear sisters, that is why Allah taught us..no I'm sorry..taught you all to watch your eyes and protect your'selves' (an-Nur:31), what you wear (an-Nur:59), how you speak (al-ahzab:32)..not because Allah envies your beauty (for He is al-Jameel), but because he wants you to be honored, to be respected..to be properly loved..


P/S: I'm not quite sure the proper message is clearly conveyed here..but believe me, if you think I'm wrong..then try it out..sell yourself..go 'showoff'..
But then be readily acknowledged that even I would never want you!! Haha..

The heart

Hardening of the Heart 4/5

Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips
Methods of Cure: (3) the Qur'an
Transcript of a lecture
Darul Arqam, Singapore, 26th November 1998

The third way by which we can soften our hearts is the Quran itself. Allah states in the Quran, Al-Hadid, 57:16, "Has not the time come for those who believe for their hearts to fear Allah when they hear the Quran (dhikrullah here is in reference to the Quran) and what truth there is in it, so that they not be like those who received the Scripture before, but in the passage of time, their hearts became hard. And most of them are corrupt."
If we reflect on the Quran, it has the power to soften our hearts. Allah said, about the jinn who heard the Quran, "Indeed we heard an amazing Quran; it guides us to Allah and we believe in it and we will set not partners besides Allah." [See Quran, Surah al-Ahqaf 46:29-32]
Allah goes on to describe the righteous, "And if they (this is amongst the Christians) hear what was revealed to the Messenger, you will see their eyes welling up with tears because of what they know of the truth of what has been brought." This was the case of the ruler of Ethiopia. When Muslims sought refuge there and they recited a portion of the Quran, they saw his eyes fill with tears.
This is how we should be. When we hear the Quran, we should reflect on the meanings. The Quran should not become for us a replacement for pop songs that we used to hear before. People buy recordings of their favourite reciters for the beauty of their voice… The listening of the Quran has become more of a musical thing. We are entertained by that music, so much so that when the reciter is reading, we hear people in the background going, "Allah! Allah! Allah!" People making statements in the background as thought it were a pop show! This is not the Quran… Allah tells us, "Will they not reflect on the meanings?"
The Quran is a Book of Guidance and it is in the reflection on the meaning of the Quran that we benefit, for it is very important for us to re-assess how we are dealing with the Quran. We should be reading it regularly, not only leaving it until Ramadhan. We reflect on it… not reading it Ramadhan so we can finish the whole Book and say we finished the Quran in Ramadhan. It really does not matter if we don’t finish the Quran in Ramadhan. For most of the Prophet’s Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam life, he did not finish the whole Quran in Ramadhan. Most of the companions did not finish the reading of the Quran in Ramadhan. Today, for us, Ramadhan is not complete unless we read the whole Quran in Ramadhan. We hire reciters to recite the Quran at 99 miles an hour so much so that even Arabic-speaking people cannot figure out where in the Quran the reciter is!
This has become the precedence — finishing the Quran in Ramadhan and if you can finish it twice, even better! But this is not what the Quran is for. The Quran is for reflection, so that when we hear it, as Allah says of the believers who hear the Quran recited, goose bumps come over their skins. It touches them and causes their heart to tremble.
[Quran Az-Zumar 39:23 : Allah has revealed (from time to time) the most beautiful Message in the form of a Book, consistent with itself, yet repeating (its teaching in various aspects): the skins of those who fear their Lord tremble threat; then their skins and hearts do soften to the remembrance of Allah.] If when we listen to the Quran, we don’t find this reaction of tears coming to our eyes, then we should make ourselves cry. Force ourselves to cry because we need to respond to the Quran in this way. If we don’t, we are lost! This is the Word of Allah, the only preserved Word of all the revelations that were given from Adam till now. This is the word of God preserved.
We should read the Quran believing this is Allah speaking to us, because that is what it is. It is Allah talking to us directly. Every time he tells us something about the Jews, we should not (merely) take it as a piece of information, that the Jews are this and that the Jews are that. No! Whenever Allah tells us something about the Jews, we should see in it as a warning to ourselves — that we don’t become like them. When Allah said, "… ghairil maghdoobi ‘alayhim wa la-ddaalleen…" in Surah Al-Fatiha, the Prophet Sallallahu ‘Alayhi wa sallam explained that al-maghdoob ‘alayhim are the Jews and that ad-daalleen are the Christians. Those with whom Allah is angry are the Jews and those who have gone astray are the Christians. Allah is angry with the Jews because they KNOW the truth and they don’t act on it. "Call people to righteousness and you forget yourselves." They changed the Book. The Christians are without knowledge; they are lost. They think that God is a man!
This is a warning to us. Every time we recite these verses, Allah is warning us not to be like them — we have the truth, we have the Scripture, but we are not acting according to them. If we do not seek knowledge, if we do not find out what it is Allah wants from us, then we are lost. Every time we read the "… ghairil maghdoobi ‘alayhim wa la-ddaalleen…", it should touch us. We should reflect on it and it should touch us.
There are so many verses throughout the Quran which remind us of the Hereafter, that remind us of the signs of the Day of Judgement. It is enough for us to open any part of the Quran to read about them. In virtually every chapter of the Quran Allah addresses the next life. It is linked to our second point of visiting the graves and remembering the Hereafter. The Quran speaks about the life to come and to reflect on it.

So keep reading the Quran..understand it..for it is The Guidance..

Alhamdulillah

Has it ever occurred to you a time that you regret so many things in life, knowing and believing that if only there was another chance, you would ask that it was different, that it wasn't the way it now is..

Has it ever occurred in you an urge to ask for something better, for something more..

Has it ever crossed your mind a feeling of dissatisfaction as you see yourself in the mirror, gazing at your failures, your smashed hopes, your forgotten dreams..

Well, if you think you answered no for each of these questions stated above..then just stop reading, coz what i'm about to say would mean nothing to you.

You see, I'm a human. And I also have been through these conditions. I seriously understand how hopeless it felt...

But one day, as I was so depressed..I began looking for solutions..and this is what i ended up with..

Maybe I am not that clever..but I have a brain..and it could still think..Alhamdulillah..
Maybe I am not strong..but I have a body..hands and feet..and it could still move..Alhamdulillah..
Maybe I am not perfect..but I still could do things others can't..and I am proud of it..Alhamdulillah..


So are there things that I missed? Things that I failed? Of course there are!! 
But there much much more things that I still have. And I can't even say its enough..because He'll still keep giving and I'll still be needing it..

So its just...Alhamdulillah..

Say what you do? Do what you say?

Today I shared a hadith, something about the 4 things that could guarantee Jannah.
1. Good words
2. Spreading the Salam
3. Maintaining good relationships
4. Praying when others sleep. (qiamullail)

So as I ended the sharing session, i began pondering..have i myself achieved in practicing these things that i say? So do i have the right to speak? To preach? Is it true that one must not say what he is incapable of doing? Should we just only speak of deeds that we have done and never advice others of sins that we are still doing? So as I thought about it the whole night, I came across this hadith..

On the authority of Anas RA; He said that they (the companions) once asked Rasulullah SAW:
" Ya Rasulullah, is it true that we should not preach others to do good, until ourselves have done it,
and that we should not prevent them from certain sins, until ourselves have succeeded in preventing all? "
And in answering, he (Rasulullah) said:
" It's not like that. Preach others of deeds, though you haven't done them and prevent others from sins, though you haven't avoided all of them."
( at-Tabrani - assogheer wal awsot )

If any of you have proof that this hadith is dha'if, please state, because i just read it in a book.

Khamsan Qabla Khamsin

Praying Isya' at the Datuk Keramat Musholla made me realise two things.

1. That the majority of the makmum..and of course plus the imam were elders. I mean really elders. So I started thinking..is the population by age an inverse triangle? I mean, are there more fifty plus2 aged men in this country than twenty plus2? Answer yourself, because the musholla seemed to prove that.

2. That actually being old is not that easy. I mean yeah, i know its hard...with the health problems and everything. But as I prayed ba'adiah, i couldn't help notice the man in front of me lethargically rising for his second rakaat. I apologise if this is considered as an insult, but generally speaking he was old and cranky. And in seeing this, I finally realised what Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam meant by your youth before your old age in this hadith:

"Ightanim khamsan qabla khamsin: hayaataka qabla mautika, wa sihhataka qabla saqamika, wa faraaghaka qabla shughulika, wa shabaabaka qabla haramika wa ghinaaka qabla faqrika.""Take advantage of five before five: your life before your death, your health before your illness, your free time before becoming busy, your youth before your old age and your wealth before your poverty."

All this while  i didn't realise the fact that if by His means, each and everyone of us will individually grow old. And by that time everything we have now would be gone. Our strength, our spirits, our dreams, our abilities..all gone..engulfed by age. So would we wait. Wait till the age comes, when at that time we are sure of death around the corner. And only then we would struggle to repent, to do 'amal, to seek jannah..and without strength, without dreams, without energy..would it be that easy? Think for yourself while you still can.

So ightanim!!
Ightanim shabaabaka qabla haramik!!

Jannah

When questioning the cost to buy a ticket to heaven..I was given this answer..

Since when could we pay for Jannah? If the 'ibadah of an 'abid who prays night and day for each second he has in life for 500 years could only weigh one of his eyes, then how much would our 'ibadah cost? 

Obtaining Jannah is about gaining His Blessings. So the value needed to get Jannah?

It is the value that is seen only in His eyes.. but who are we to judge it?

And if it takes every penny we have, then spend it. If it takes every tear we have, then spill it. If it takes every strength we have, then use it. If it takes every second we have, then sacrifice it. Bcoz this life, is the only shot we have in achieving it.

Some words to think about

When once asked by a journalist to introduce himself, he said:


I am a traveller seeking the Truth, a human searching for the meaning of humanity, and a citizen seeking dignity, freedom, stability and welfare under the shade of Islam. I am a free man who is aware of the purpose of his existence and who proclaims;"Truly, my prayer and my sacrifice, my life and my death, are all for Allah, the Cherisher of the worlds; no partner has He. This I am commanded and I am among those who submit to His Will."This is who I am. Who are you?

Hassan Al-Banna

Yeah, I know. I posted this on my wall, yet again I posted it here.
But seriously, who cares? The more I read it, the more I realise my purpose..

Finally..

Alhamdulillah, I'm now finally back in Perlis. Settled down and ready  to begin my story..
This one's gonna be long, so if you have time..Please continue reading.

This story is about what happened in these last thirty days, what I did and where I was. Also the perfect alibi for my long no-posting days..
It all started on the 4th of June. Well it actually began long b4 that, (the planning, organising and paperworks) but mainly it was on the 4th that the program actually started. The program is called TAMU. A short form for Tamrin and Mukhayyam (simply defined as indoor and outdoor). A program done for kids 8-12. This year it was the 7th time done and the theme was Smart Solat, Smart Hayat. Generally pointing out that a person who knows how to practice a perfect prayer will achieve a smart life.
If you wanna know more about this program, you can read here. She's one of the hardworking facilitators at TAMU (sorry, i'll pay for it if you want to..)
I actually don't have much time, and if I shared what I went through in organising this program..it would be a bit emotional and sad, bcoz I slept late every night and bcoz what happened backstage was much much more tiring and mind blowing than seen. So as proof that it was actually fun, I imported it.
But who cares, bcoz the thing is,  I learnt much more things about planning, about knowing, about love. Bcoz when you tell others to do things, you surely will be tested with what you say. So this program not only taught the kids about prayers, it also taught me that khusyu' is a part of yourself that if Allah is not the highest in your heart, as your love, then it is impossible to achieve. And removing other loves; with its beauty, its comfort and its sweetness from this heart other than to Allah, is really hard. Too hard to be put into words. So the solution that I found in the tiredness and exhaustion from the program was, if we love Allah deeply enough, He will aid us in dispatching this hubbudunia away. InsyaAllah.

So after packing things up, on the evening of the 7th of June, the exact date TAMU ended, me and my brothers took off to KL. They were on practical. We arrived there 2am on the 8th. Then I took a coach to Shah Alam to join a Mukhayyam MISI (Mukhayyam Siswa Siswi). Now b4 I talk about this mukhayyam, I just wanna remind fellow readers that a commuter going to Shah Alam at 6.50pm, would be like a tin of sardines. Alhamdulillah, introducing a specific coach only for women helped a lot.

The Mukhayyam was fun and I got a lot of input from it, because sometimes when you are with other brothers, things come in a different way. I learnt how to cook chicken soup, pekasam and some veggie soup. But I think I can only remember the chicken soup, because after that I did a lot more watching and tasting than actually participating..ha2.

Then on the morning of the 11th, I took a coach back to KL, got busy helping my aunt prepare for her Thanksgiving Gathering (Kenduri Kesyukuran..ha2) the next day. It was all a family work. We did everything on our own. So on the day itself, I was a waiter, in charge of refilling the rice. I met an American man. Muslim. We had a long chat about the difference between the productivity of electrical engineering research in Malaysia and America. He made me realise that whoever controls the world has control over the highest technology, because their researches are military based, and the funding is limitless. So if i'm really interested to go into research, I should work at  US, which is impossible..ha2.

Exactly at 6.35pm, my brother sent me to the (IIM) Institut Integriti Malaysia's office at Jalan Duta. I slept at 3.30am, to help with the last touches and preparation for the CSR Rebung program. Then the next day (13th) at 10am, we went to MRSM Felda Trolak, by IIM bus. To make things short, what I saw, experienced and learnt was that integrity is actually unneeded. Bcoz if you practise Islam perfectly, you can see that Ihsan, That you worship Allah as if you see Him, for if you don't see Him then truly He sees you

teaches us exactly about integrity. I also realised there that one can work for days and night without rest, exhaust himself, and do everything for the sake of making something happen. And in the end, he would actually obtain nothing except satisfactory. Which will give? Nothing. But if ones exhaustion and work is lined out on the road of Lillahita'ala, whether he achieves in making that certain thing happen or not doesn't matter, bcoz what Allah sees is his work, not his result. Subhanallah..
On the 19th, I came back to KL. The 20th went to an important launching. 21st took a bus back to Perlis. And now I'm here.
Conclusion: I just hope, really hope and pray that every drop of energy I used was for Him. And only for Him.

PS: I was a camp commander for TAMU, participant for MISI, and sekretariat for CSR.
PPS: Told you it was gonna be long.