And it keeps ringing

Why is it that when everything is so cramped, you're so efficient?
Yet when it is so ample, you're so useless?
Emptiness, loneliness, nothingness.

A senior once said, in many many tests that Allah has for you, there will be a test of nothingness.
A time when you have nothing sorted out for you, nothing told to be done, no programs, no schedules, no assignments, nothing.
And there, you'll know what i mean.

"So learn from this nothingness, be a master of it, and insyaAllah you'll find the true meaning of istiqamah"

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

Incapable

This's gonna be brief, coz though everything's settled, i' ve actually assigned some house tasks for myself to be done, so im not gonna waste time thinking for what to write.

But there is this thing that i really want to share, it was picked up from a conversation with my mom.
She said;
Remember, Allah says in the Quran:

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity"

 

Now for what reasons this ayah was lined out to me is not to be shared, but what this ayah is about will be.
So as i started pondering on this verse, i came across some things people questioned. Things like;
Whatever the difficulties come on me, i have to bear it?
Because it was fated onto me?
Because though it is such a burden, it is within my capacity?
Can't run away from fate?

Now i know, everyone would have passed through a time when hale and storms brewed in their hearts, it is undeniable. Even if you look at the happiest man on earth (though i don't think one was ever elected), he would still have gone through hardships in life. It is unavoidable. The fitrah of us humans.

But the extent of the hardships? That is subjective. Some are tested with hardships their whole life, some for a day, some for months. But wherever there is hardship, there is always happiness that would come following. This sequence is actually a reminder. A reminder that Allah wants us to benefit this ease for good before it gets hard, as said by our beloved prophet pbuh:

"Take advantage of five before five: your life before your death, your health before your illness, your free time before becoming busy, your youth before your old age and your wealth before your poverty."

Sorry, but that was kinda out of topic, but if ur interested, ive already posted it once a time ago here.

Whatever the hardships are, no matter how hard you are tested, you would know that u are always capable of going through it. Or would i? Could i just keep saying its possible? That i'm fine? That i could go through it?

For example, something you worked on for years, ended with nothing. 

Can you just keep saying, 'owh its fine, im good.' Im sure you would be cryin your hearts out. YEARS paid for nothing. Nothing.

Now this is a test on you. 

Now this is within your capacity. 

Now this was fated on you.

WHAT? So why did i even start if it was gonna end like this? Fated? Isn't it too much? And if i just can't stand it, where does 'within you capacity' come in?

So what does 'la yukallifullaha nafsan illa wus'aha' really mean??

Now, now..be brief..i said it was gonna be brief, but somehow in tryin to build the atmosphere and understanding of the situation i bragged quite alot didn't i. So i apologise, and the answer will be brief.

There's two things i understood from this verse that would fade all doubts.

1) Fate is, to do it, and ask that Allah makes good out of it. If it turns out bad, then He knew it would turn out bad. If it went good, He knew too. Me? I just did it, because i didn't.

2) Within our capacity, is never what we thought was our capacity. We knew nothing about ourselves. Our capacities, capabilities, limits. He knew. Not us. Him. So if He says it is within capacity, then it sure is.

Just believe, because He knows us.

P/S: These tests, they make us stronger. We'll surely pass, if only we tried to see.

Ya Allah.Forgive me for my mistakes.Aid me with what I said.
For You are the Almighty

This sickness. May it be for forgiveness.
Ya Allah guide me, guide me, guide me.

Of Mars, Cadbury, and Chocolate

Yesterday it was hot chocolate.
A couple of days ago it was a whole block of chocolate..(finished it in half an hour)
Last week three packs of Arnotts Chocolate Biscuits.
A couple of weeks ago, it was a couple bar of Mars, Snickers, and this brand which i forgot.

Yeah, so what??

I also wouldn't know the significance of me telling you this if it weren't for my mom, who, when i was Skyping (which i really hope one day becomes a verb like googling-'Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary' so that it doesn't have the red wiggly line under it) with her, noticed that i was eating a bar of chocolate.

Now before presumptions and assumptions are made, let me clear it out for you 'the history'.
I have a big family, and i'm the 3rd, which FYI is usually considered the last of the 'pioneers' in a family of 10.
And a pioneer has only one synonym. Sacrifice.
Well, there is the privilege and power to control the other successors (which i used very well), but mainly its the sacrifice. And one of the biggest sacrifices that me and my bigger brothers made was chocolate.
In shorter words, we ended up being unattracted to chocolate at such an early age. not at all.

So somehow, here, lots of years later, i'm eating chocolate, drinking chocolate, chewing chocolate..
i'm just not yet swimming in it (which i don't quite know how...not swimming...i mean in the chocolate).
And when i realised it, it suddenly came to me a truth.

The truth.

That humans have such a soft heart. The fact that we can try and try as hard as we want to shape it in one way, yet in the end, it can always flip around and turn into something else...
and not to forget also that no matter how screwed and fixed we think it is, there's always a way for it to be shaped.

So even if we think things like;
" I'll never be able to wake up at night, because i need 6 hours of sleep, and i'm not used to it."

" I just can't cry in my prayers, because i can't understand it."
" I'll never be able to read the Quran fluently because i was never taught well when i was a kid."

" I'll never be able to stop smoking, because i'm already addicted to it."

" I'll never be able to be good, because i've been so bad before."

Who said so??Us.We said it.We limited ourselves to all of this, and in the end never even tried.

Where as we forgot, that its not us who controls our hearts. its Him.

Because;

If we really need 6 hours of sleep, then sleep at 9, ur surely gonna wake up at 3.

If we really can't cry in prayers, then cry in our dua' when we do understand what we're saying.
If we really aren't fluent in reading the Quran, then try hear it.
If we really can't stop smoking, then stop buying them.
If we really can't do good, then just stop being bad, thats good enough isn't it?

Its always changeable.

Yet again don't forget that it also means if we think that we are good enough, constantly feeling strong and consistent..there always a chance of falling.

Thats why our beloved prophet teaches us this great dua';

As narrated by Ummu Salamah radhiyallahu ‘anha saying that the dua' that Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam would pray is,
“Yaa muqollibal qulub tsabbit qolbi ‘ala diinik ”
(meaning) "O Supreme Lord that tosses and turns hearts, strengthen my heart on your religion"
(Tirmidzi, Ahmad, Hakim, Shahih Dzahabi, refer Shahihul Jami’)

So if we keep trying, and praying that Allah aids us, we'll surely change it, we'll surely sustain it. it'll surely work.
Because believe me, everything is changeable. Go look around, there's proof anywhere.

like me and the chocolates..You'll surely find a way.

Ya Allah.Strengthen and sustain our hearts on this submission