Islamic Calendar

"Ya Rasulullah what are these gardens of Jannah"
"They are gatherings that remind us of Allah"

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

this hypocrisy

ok, things are getting a bit hectic this week.
everyday, there would always be a new problem, but i dont mind. its a challenge for me.
have you ever felt that you were born in this world to please others, and make your own self suffer?
well not literally suffer..but you just can't 100% be yourself.
i do. kudos to me..
having to please others is one of the problems i have to face everyday.
ever heard of : "you've changed" or "stop acting" or even "dont need to be friends anymore" ?
if you have, then good. if you havent, then good also.
its just hard to please everyone at the same time. i don't care much if  people hate me for being who i am, but what hurts me the most is the fact that i sometimes lose in this battle of hypocrisy. that i sometimes surrender, questioning the rationals in wearing this 'mask', getting tired of being this actor. but in the end i learned that sometimes i just can't bluntly follow my who i wanna what i wanna do..
for in Islam, there are rules, there are borders and lines, and if i fail to follow these lines closely, how am i supposed to gather my friends in the border?

friends are not measured on how long you have known them, but on how close you are with them and how much you care for them. not just here, but also in the hereafter.
and i admit that i care a lot for my friends. in fact, i care too much that some even consider me being a busybody. stopping them from falling in love, questioning each and everything they do, accusing them for minor things. but i believe as Rasulullah SAW once said:
"A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace." 
[Sahih al-Bukhari & Muslim]

so i apologise when things have been weird, or i've gone too much into your lives. i've been trying so hard to be the perfume and when i hold on to a principle, it clings to me like there's no tomorrow, so in the end, people hate me, i loose friend(s), and these are my weaknesses..
so please, as a human who does wrong..advice me in my weakness, where there is a possibility..i'll change..
and maybe you'll be the 'perfume' for me..

P/S: this is not a surrender...for i'll still be who i plan to be. though you call it 'bad' i call it a job..


  1. dlm dunia akhir zaman ni mesti ade org mcm rahim yg sentiasa mengingatkn kwn2. tak kesah dorang terima or tak. tp we need ppl like this. so keep it up! wlpn ade segelintir yg benci tapi percyela ramai org support dr blkg,wlpn tak nmpk.

  2. If your good deeds please you and your bad deeds upset you, then you are a mukmin (believer).

  3. i yearn so much to be a true mukmin, but how would you know when you become one? a mukmin has true faith. aku ni, nama je lebih. hampeh.